Here's part 1 of the report,
"7 Secrets for Fixing Your Marriage."
In this report you'll discover secrets for saving
and restoring your marriage. Let's get started.
SECRET 1: PUT YOUR PROBLEMS ASIDE
If you're reading a report about how to save your
marriage, you're probably expecting to learn
problem-solving strategies, communication
techniques, and insights about gender
differences. Do I have a SURPRISE for you!
The key to renewing your marriage is NONE of
those things.
How do I know this? Because I experienced it!
Unlike other relationship experts who approach
the topic from a clinical perspective, for me
saving and restoring marriages is also very
personal. I’ve been where you are now. I'd like
to share with you my story.
My wife and I started out deeply in love. I
remember staying up all night talking, surprising
each other with thoughtful gifts, and speaking to
each other in code words. You know the feeling of
really being connected? That was us.
But then something happened that destroys most
marriages. We had a son who died when he was one
week old. And then we had twin daughters, who
also died as newborns.
Understandably, my wife became depressed. I coped
by immersing myself in work. We ran from each
other emotionally.
Your situation probably was not so tragic, but
something happened. What was it? How did you lose
each other? Maybe you can't put your finger on
it, but something is definitely not right. That's
common too.
For us, after losing 3 children, everything felt
different. Instead of talking all night, it was a
chore to talk for a few minutes. Instead of using
our code words, we used curse words. Our
relationship consisted of screaming matches and
silent treatments.
Somewhere deep in our hearts though, like you, we
knew we didn't want to lose each other. So we
made a commitment to work on our marriage.
Sometimes I tried and my wife didn't. Sometimes
my wife tried and I didn't. We went through
different stages of "trying."
What did we try?
We tried the obligatory, "Honey, let me repeat
what you said to make sure I understood you
correctly." We applied conflict resolution
strategies. My wife learned about Mars and I
learned about Venus. We even went to therapy to
wrestle with our problems. But guess what.
Nothing changed. Nothing worked.
All the advice (books, counselors, whatever)
asked us to confront our problems. But that just
made us feel worse. And fight more.
As long as the "right" way wasn’t working, why
not be dysfunctional? So we tried to convince
each other of our way. You’ve tried that too,
right? Obviously, that doesn’t work.
Then we had a breakthrough.
We decided to SET ASIDE OUR PROBLEMS. We didn’t
talk about them at all. We didn’t bring them up
even once. Instead, we put our energy into trying
to connect. We used certain relationship
techniques that transformed our marriage. Not
only did we resolve our differences; we fell in
love again! And we did it not by dealing with our
problems (as serious as they were), but by
establishing new relationship habits that brought
positive energy to our marriage.
This is the solution to most marital situations!
Believe it or not, the secret is to STEP AWAY
FROM YOUR PROBLEMS and spend your time and energy
doing specific relationship building activities.
It's counter-intuitive, but if you do this, most
of your problems will dissipate, the threat of
divorce will go away, and the other people
invading your marriage will become irrelevant.
Before you deal with your
problems, you first have to build good will with
your spouse. And this is doable even in the most
difficult marital situations.
If your marriage is stressed, do
NOT tackle your problems. Stop talking about the
affair, the attention you're not getting, or
whatever. If your timing is off, trying to solve
your problems will damage your marriage and make
it LESS LIKELY that you'll ever find resolution.
Now you can see why the Marriage Fitness program
is fundamentally different from any other
approach to relationship success. It's not about
conflict-resolution or communication skills
because these are NOT the key to saving a
marriage. The key is NOT to fix what's wrong. The
key is to make new things right.
And there are, in fact, specific things you can
do, with or without your spouse, to make things
right in your marriage. And the Marriage Fitness
program offers you a step-by-step system for
doing just that. It also teaches you how to
temporarily put aside the problems and issues
that are weighing you down and making it
impossible for you to establish a new momentum in
your marriage. The program works for any marriage
even if only one spouse does it. And the best
news is that you don't have to dig into your
past, dredge up your problems, or practice
communication techniques. This is not marriage
counseling; it's Marriage Fitness.
Be well.
"7 Secrets for Fixing Your Marriage."
In this report you'll discover secrets for saving
and restoring your marriage. Let's get started.
SECRET 1: PUT YOUR PROBLEMS ASIDE
If you're reading a report about how to save your
marriage, you're probably expecting to learn
problem-solving strategies, communication
techniques, and insights about gender
differences. Do I have a SURPRISE for you!
The key to renewing your marriage is NONE of
those things.
How do I know this? Because I experienced it!
Unlike other relationship experts who approach
the topic from a clinical perspective, for me
saving and restoring marriages is also very
personal. I’ve been where you are now. I'd like
to share with you my story.
My wife and I started out deeply in love. I
remember staying up all night talking, surprising
each other with thoughtful gifts, and speaking to
each other in code words. You know the feeling of
really being connected? That was us.
But then something happened that destroys most
marriages. We had a son who died when he was one
week old. And then we had twin daughters, who
also died as newborns.
Understandably, my wife became depressed. I coped
by immersing myself in work. We ran from each
other emotionally.
Your situation probably was not so tragic, but
something happened. What was it? How did you lose
each other? Maybe you can't put your finger on
it, but something is definitely not right. That's
common too.
For us, after losing 3 children, everything felt
different. Instead of talking all night, it was a
chore to talk for a few minutes. Instead of using
our code words, we used curse words. Our
relationship consisted of screaming matches and
silent treatments.
Somewhere deep in our hearts though, like you, we
knew we didn't want to lose each other. So we
made a commitment to work on our marriage.
Sometimes I tried and my wife didn't. Sometimes
my wife tried and I didn't. We went through
different stages of "trying."
What did we try?
We tried the obligatory, "Honey, let me repeat
what you said to make sure I understood you
correctly." We applied conflict resolution
strategies. My wife learned about Mars and I
learned about Venus. We even went to therapy to
wrestle with our problems. But guess what.
Nothing changed. Nothing worked.
All the advice (books, counselors, whatever)
asked us to confront our problems. But that just
made us feel worse. And fight more.
As long as the "right" way wasn’t working, why
not be dysfunctional? So we tried to convince
each other of our way. You’ve tried that too,
right? Obviously, that doesn’t work.
Then we had a breakthrough.
We decided to SET ASIDE OUR PROBLEMS. We didn’t
talk about them at all. We didn’t bring them up
even once. Instead, we put our energy into trying
to connect. We used certain relationship
techniques that transformed our marriage. Not
only did we resolve our differences; we fell in
love again! And we did it not by dealing with our
problems (as serious as they were), but by
establishing new relationship habits that brought
positive energy to our marriage.
This is the solution to most marital situations!
Believe it or not, the secret is to STEP AWAY
FROM YOUR PROBLEMS and spend your time and energy
doing specific relationship building activities.
It's counter-intuitive, but if you do this, most
of your problems will dissipate, the threat of
divorce will go away, and the other people
invading your marriage will become irrelevant.
Before you deal with your
problems, you first have to build good will with
your spouse. And this is doable even in the most
difficult marital situations.
If your marriage is stressed, do
NOT tackle your problems. Stop talking about the
affair, the attention you're not getting, or
whatever. If your timing is off, trying to solve
your problems will damage your marriage and make
it LESS LIKELY that you'll ever find resolution.
Now you can see why the Marriage Fitness program
is fundamentally different from any other
approach to relationship success. It's not about
conflict-resolution or communication skills
because these are NOT the key to saving a
marriage. The key is NOT to fix what's wrong. The
key is to make new things right.
And there are, in fact, specific things you can
do, with or without your spouse, to make things
right in your marriage. And the Marriage Fitness
program offers you a step-by-step system for
doing just that. It also teaches you how to
temporarily put aside the problems and issues
that are weighing you down and making it
impossible for you to establish a new momentum in
your marriage. The program works for any marriage
even if only one spouse does it. And the best
news is that you don't have to dig into your
past, dredge up your problems, or practice
communication techniques. This is not marriage
counseling; it's Marriage Fitness.
Be well.
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